Cool jokes

Q. Why wasn't Jesus born in the U.S.A?
A. Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

AN LA driver is heading home when the traffic slows up to a halt. He asks a passing traffic cop what's happening. The cop says, "OJ Simpson can't afford $20 million to pay off his debts. He's lying in the middle of the highway and is threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself alight. I've taken up a collection to help him out." "How much have you got so far?" asks the driver. The cop replies,"Oh, about 10 gallons."

Q. How to you make Holy Water?
A. Take some normal water and boil the hell out of it.

The warden is just about to pull the switch on the electric chair when the prisoner gets the hiccups."Do you have any last requests?" says the warden. "Yeah," says the prisoner, "Could you please...hic....do something...hic.... to scare me?"

A man turns up at work with both his ears bandaged up. "What happened to your ears?" asks his boss.
The man replies: "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang. I accidentally answered the iron."
"That explains one ear, but what happened to the other one?" continues his boss.
"Well, I had to call the doctor!" says the man.

Q. What's the quietest place in the world?
A. The complaints department at the parachute-packing plant.

A horse walks into a bar...

"Why the long face?" says the barman.